Being Present with Poncho
Raising Poncho is both inspiring and life-giving and will ultimately lead to a poignant letting go. What I believe most about having him in my life now is that he is showing me that love is about giving oneself with abandon and then letting go. And because there is a goodbye on the horizon, this is the moment that matters most. The very presentness of Poncho’s life is a gift, and so is my own reality. Over and over again, something will be true, and then it will change. It is honestly the hardest lesson and the most powerful and affirming. Poncho is leading the way and I am following.
The night before a regional director brought our Guiding Eyes puppy to us, I watched Pick of the Litter, weeping openly on my couch. The images of the bond between puppy and raiser and then the graduation of dogs to the care of their eventual handlers had me undone. I realized then that my anxiety about raising a puppy for this program was overshadowed by the inspiration I felt from being included in a community of people hoping to make a difference.
I have always loved dogs, dating back to second grade when my parents let me adopt my first mutt, Meggy, a Basset Hound/Beagle mix, and the only dog I met when we went to the pound to find our match. Meggy and I bonded in minute one, and she became my companion and sidekick for over 17 years. Hearing the school bus from miles away, she would run through the fields near our Vermont farm and greet me at the bus stop when I came home from school. Her long velvet ears were tokens of luck for me before a big event when I would squeeze them for their “ear power.” And when she got hit - not fatally - for the third time on the country roads near our house, I draped myself over her body, pleading for her to be spared.
The death of a beloved pet stands as one of the most impactful losses of my life, and I’ve now experienced it with two beloved dogs. Our family rescue, Jojo, passed in August 2023 after a lifetime of giving unconditional love and therapy to his human family of four. After his passing, I was sure that I could not face anytime soon a loss of that magnitude. Having watched a friend raise a puppy with Guiding Eyes for the Blind, I began to research the commitment myself and contemplate joining the work of raising a future guide dog. I wondered if adding a dog to the elementary school where I am the head could be transformative for the puppy and the students.
Poncho arrived from the Canine Development Center in NY to Bethesda on August 8, 2024, the same day as his four-month birthday. Having spent time with a sitter and in the training center, he had some of the most basic commands in place. He was immediately cuddly, exuberant, and comfortable in his new home. It felt like a blessing to have found each other at this stage since I was beginning my ninth year at my school with Poncho.
Working in an elementary school, I have always dreamed of having a school dog to offer love and grounding to the students. Beginning on the first day of school, Poncho delighted and charmed his classmates. He was learning the command of “go say hi” and trying to contain his urge to jump up and play with the children like fellow puppies. We gathered the whole school to outline some of the guidelines for his training and explain his aspirations to become a guide dog. The students are learning he is not a “pet” but rather on a path to have a larger purpose and to help someone without or with limited vision have more independence.
As we reach a mid-point in the year, he is now a regular part of their school routine. Twice a week, he walks with two friends who have signed up to spend time with him. He regularly plays fetch at early childhood recess, and he is getting increasingly comfortable settling quietly for chapel and all school gatherings. He has experienced the best kind of regular socialization by living and working in a school of loving children and teachers.
It is now mid-February in the DC area, and friends and families all around us are losing work and are worried about what will come next with a new regime solely focused on cleaning out our city. It is relentless and overwhelming. So, the love of a puppy focused on his path offers some relief from anxiety and uncertainty. Poncho is committed to doing well and relentlessly positive in his pursuit of living up to his DNA. He is deeply connected to me and all of the children at Grace. And every morning, no matter the temperature or climate, we walk the neighborhood streets, putting one foot in front of another. We must always keep moving.
I am not the first puppy raiser to see the beauty of life with a future guide dog. People always ask me, “How can you give him up to be with someone else?” It is indeed painful to imagine, and it is also the most joyful thing to work towards. Parker Palmer, the Quaker scholar, has written about the elegance of paradox. Instead of seeing life as a series of either/or moments or dichotomies, he encourages an embracing of opposites and a looser holding together of both/and.